I Fell In Love With Coaching Again This Week - TWICE!

Good Coaching can be used anywhere.

This week I had two different incidents where I benefited from coaching myself.

Scenario #1 - In my work at Worship Center occasionally I have to deal with difficult situations. Times when I have to deal with tricky situations where I don't want to hurt someone's feelings, but where I may need to speak some truth. I always want to do that in kindness, with care, and in hopes of offering growth. So, in this situation, I knew I wanted to talk to our Exec Pastor, Don Neff, to be sure I was moving forward in the right way.

Don is a sage leader and true to form he heard me out without interrupting or telling me what to do. As I was explaining the situation I found myself using the language I look for, and long for, as a coach. I said,

"You know what I probably ought to do?..." (I even told him I wish I had recorded what I had said so I could remember it and write some bullet points for the upcoming...

Let's take a quick look at the biblical definition of love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says,

     Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, is not selfish, and does not get upset with others. Love does not count up wrongs that have been done. Love takes no pleasure in evil but rejoices over the truth. Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures.

Benevolent Detachment is patient - it doesn't rush the other person to make a decision or take an action step.

Benevolent Detachment actually IS kind. We talked about that last time.

Benevolent Detachment is not jealous. It doesn't look at where others are at and wish for what they have, it is being consciously grateful for what we do have.

Benevolent Detachment does not brag and is not proud. It doesn't show off or compare, "If you want to know what I think..."

Benevolent Detachment is not rude, it doesn't butt in...

Ever just want to shake someone? I have. 

Okay, maybe not physically, but I have wanted so badly to help someone SEE something. It's mind-boggling to me how tolerant people can be of difficult circumstances they could actually do something about!

If I'm honest I've wanted to shake myself at times as well!

You'd think the low experience would be enough for a wake-up call, but no. We keep doing the same thing over and over, and not adopting the new thing we know would be better for us. 

What was God thinking when He gave us free will? 

Apparently, this is not a new phenomenon. Paul says in Romans 7:15

     I do not understand the things I do. I do not do what I want to do, and I do the things I hate.

But then later in Romans 12:2, he says, 

     Do not be shaped by this world; instead be changed within by a new way of thinking. Then you will...

Ever wonder what Coach Training is all about, or what it would feel like? 

Here's your chance to give it a try! 

On July 15 we'll be offering our first-ever Bridges Coaching Lunch & Learn!

JOIN US for this taste and see experience where we'll learn about the CHRIST model* - the single most significant coaching tool I've come across in the last 4 years!

Whether you are a coaching newbie, rookie, or veteran, this online lunch hour class will give you:

• an overview of the CHRIST model that you can use in coaching sessions, for meeting agendas, or even in casual conversation
• a taste of what coach training it like
• an introduction to some of our Bridges Coaching leaders and other potential cohort members (maybe you'll even find a peer partner to take a course with!)

The class will be on Zoom from 12 -1 EST. (We'll send the link once you register.)

USE THE CODE: FBFRIEND to waive the $20 fee!

We believe you'll walk away with hope for your...

Dreamers tend to have an idea a minute. 

You know the type. They are pretty quick with a "What if?" They keep us moving forward, trying things and improving what is already there. 

Maybe you are the type. You have more vision than there are years in the century. It's a gift and a curse because you always have more good ideas, but it's hard because you probably can't do them all. (And let's be honest, sometimes you start stuff that doesn't get done.)

SO, how do you decide what to do when? And how? And with whom?

Coaching can help! In fact, that is one of the outcomes coaching is designed for!

Now, let's talk about Doers.

Doers get stuff done. Their focus is less on what could be and more on what is.

You know the type. They are hard-working, dependable, and responsible. They seem to be tireless.

Maybe you are the type. You don't need someone to check up on you because your internal motivation will keep things running smoothly and get the stuff checked off the...

As a former Bible college dean, I’ve had many young people ask for mentoring. For clarity’s sake, I learned to ask back what exactly they were looking for in a mentoring relationship.

Here’s some of the answers I received:

• I don’t know what I’m looking for, isn’t that what you are supposed to decide?
• Well, I just know I am supposed to have a mentor, so whatever you think is right is good by me.
• I need someone to tell me how to grow spiritually.

While I applauded their initiative for spiritual growth and there was some value in their ideology, in this paradigm the responsibility for their development was all placed on me. I felt I was supposed to design a pathway for their spiritual growth. They wanted me to discern what their next steps would be. And in some cases, there was a hope that I would use my influence to connect them with a ministry position. Their perspective was one where I would be the leader, the teacher, and the guide and they...

"It doesn't work like that...."

"I can't."

"Maybe you just don't understand."

Ever have "that" conversation? You know, the one where the other person has pre-decided there is no way out of the situation they are in, where the circumstances they are dealing with are unique and insurmountable.

I've been there dozens of times. (And TBH I've been that person dozens of times as well.)

They get fixated on their "thing" and that's all they can talk about. Every conversation is about the symptoms of the "thing", how it is overwhelming and how they are stuck and there is no way out. It's disheartening for them AND for everyone around them.

It's like they want "it" to go away, but they feel there is nothing that can be done.

There are 3 ways to deal with someone who is reluctant to see hope and resistant to change. (Two of them are common but ineffective.)

1. Avoidance.

This option may happen intentionally or unintentionally. You see them coming down the hall at church, or you see their...

Seriously, have you ever actually considered coach training?

It's one thing to hear about the discipleship and growth concepts in coaching, but another to experience and know them.

OUR SUMMER COHORT IS FORMING NOW!

Maybe summer is your best time to lean in? Maybe it's time to invest in yourself and your kingdom impact?

Learn more here. Click the "Save your seat" button to connect with this summer's cohort facilitator Sarah!

(Registration closes May 31 - cohort starts June 5th)

How many workshops or conferences have you gone to?

What do you remember as life-changing? 

I've been to quite a few and honestly what I remember is building relationships with the team I went with, or chewing on an idea one of us got from a teaching.

Here are SIX reasons Bridges Coach training could be your best next for growth!

#1 Understanding Coaching Culture is usually life-changing! (When was the last time you said that about a conference or workshop?) 

Coaching, in essence, is the Biblical framework for discipleship. Once I started studying it, I saw it everywhere. My Bible is chock full of green highlighter, the color I chose just for coaching principles.

Jesus said, "His yoke was easy and His burden was light." When coaching principles are used conversationally, I can help people choose God's way for them without feeling the weight of their choice, or the cost of pushing out the timing of their resolution.

My interactions with others, at work and at home, are...

What is Coaching? 

I get asked that a lot.

Maybe you've asked that as well, or you get asked that. 

In the Coaching Culture certification course, we actually have a project where trainees have to give an elevator speech with their version of the answer. (An elevator speech is having an answer you can share with someone in the time it takes for an elevator ride.)

The ICC, International Coaching Community, website puts it succinctly like this: 

Coaching has been defined in many ways. The essence of coaching is:

• To help a person change in the way they wish and help them go in the direction they want to go.
• Coaching supports a person at every level in becoming who they want to be.
• Coaching builds awareness empowers choice and leads to change.

There are plenty of other leadership or caregiving models that are not coaching - like teaching, mentoring, consulting, and counseling. And they each have their place in a person's life.

Christian coaching uses a Biblical model of...